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Not wining friends but maybe influencing people

As I have said before I am an avid reader and I have been known to read more than one book at a time…yeah is there a book-aholic’s anonymous because I may need to refer a friend…

Anyway, years ago I read “How to Win Friends and Influence Others” by Dal Carnegie and as a woman who got her degree in Human Development and Psychology this book was fascinating to me.  The simple actions of letting others speak more than you do, of encouragement over degradation to push others, and to avoiding arguments to influence others have become my go-tos all the time professionally and personally.  But here’s the thing a very glaring issue was brought to my attention earlier this year and I don’t know that encouragement is the right way to get this message across. 

 **Disclaimer: I’m putting this out there to hopefully better an amazing association that I have grown to love and will continue to serve in any and every capability given to me.  I am not bitter about the results, but I am bitter about the sheer lack of participation, appreciation for the staff who work tirelessly to educate this association’s membership, and the flapping of lips at how the association is doing this or that incorrectly.  Please read the rest of this post with this in mind.**

 Earlier in my career, I was one of the people I feel this particular contempt for.  I didn’t contribute at the national or chapter level.  I wasn’t a member of a chapter board, I didn’t vote in the elections, I didn’t serve on a committee, but I did show up and expect a certain level of education and networking.  I was what has been termed a “passive member”, but as the saying goes: “You get out of it what you put into it”.  I was “voluntold” some years ago that I would be running a group of individuals that were looking for a place of their own and I have done that.  I don’t know that I do much good, but I’m hopeful to be making a difference regardless as I look to take that group to a national level and past just the association where it began. I ran for a position on my local chapter board of this association and I have been serving on that board for over a year.  This year I was placed on a technical committee for another association for two of their conferences and I have loved that experience as well. I’m serving and I’m not sitting on the sidelines anymore. 

 In 2020, I pushed myself completely out of my comfort zone (at the prodding and encouragement of several people in my life) and ran for a spot on the national board of the association and yes, I lost.  Defeat and failure are a part of life; and I will try again because I know that the association has given so much to me and I intend to give back so that the next generation can enjoy and grow their careers in the same way.  But here’s what I learned: the majority of the membership of this association is very similar to me in the early years of my career; they’re passive members!!!! They’re not as engaged as me now and that breaks my heart and enrages me at the same time. This association has given me mentors, friends, education, confidence, laughter, and a place to be completely myself: a woman who loves to play in the dirt and the stormwater.  How do other people not feel the same way I do?!? In my 13 years of being in this industry I’ve only missed one national conference; I’ve never missed a single chapter conference or local field day for my state and have been to several of the other chapter’s conferences; and may have cried actual tears when I heard we were going virtual in 2021.  I love this association and it is because of it’s people so when I learned that 85% of the membership is as passive as I used to be I became indignant. 

 So here’s the thing, the next time you go flapping your jaws about how you don’t like this or that about what your association is doing I have some questions:

1)    Did you vote for the board? Nationally or at a local level?

2)    Do you serve in any capacity: board? committee? Or even making other people aware of events and services available to its membership?

3)    Do you do anything other than pay your dues and show up?

If your answers to those questions are: no, no and yes, that I politely ask you to keep your trap shut.